Today our best wasn’t good enough.
I stopped to pick my son up for counseling I was greeted by the principal, unusual. She handed me a letter that she and Xander’s teacher had compiled to show what a typical school day was like for Xander.
“After you read the letter maybe you could share it with his counselor if you think it will help.”
“Thank you”, I nervously said as worry took over my thoughts. Oh boy, now what is going on. What is in that letter?
There was no time to read the letter now, only time to scoop Xander up and whisk him off to Ms.Megan’s office. All the way there my mind bounced from one worry to the next, the suspense of not knowing was eating me up.
Finally, we arrived. After checking in and finding a seat in the waiting room, I pulled the letter out and began reading. Most of what had been written was not surprising.
Then there was this, “Xander slammed his fist on the desk, kicked the desk legs, and left the room without permission.”
Emotional imbalance won.
Low self-esteem won.
“Hi guys, come one back.” His counselor had come to take us back to her office. We followed her back, closed the door and found a seat on the couch. Well, I found a seat and Xander walked over to the bookshelf to see if she had added any new games.
“How have things been going?” She asked Xander.
“Okay.” His answers are typically short. He has difficulty remembering what has happened unless it has made a significant impact.
“When I stopped to pick him up from the school today the principal greeted me with this letter.” I handed her the letter and she read it.
“Xander, did you have a difficult day at school today?” She asked.
“I got mad.”
“What made you feel mad?”
As Xander begin to talk about his day the tears broke loose from behind my eyes. I turned so that Xander could not see them fall. School is difficult for him. Everything about the school day is a challenge. It was in this moment that I finally accepted the next twelve years were going to be a struggle every single day.
Today my best was not good enough. My child is suffering and I cannot stop it.
I’m doing my best, he is doing his best. Today our best was not good enough because ADHD won. But today is coming to a close and tomorrow will start a new day when the battle begins again. We can only hope our best will be enough then.
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